Post TFH
by Gemicore
Summary: I'm not all that sure if I will write anything more to this story than what I publish now. If you want me to, feel free to tell me. This story is about Adrian after TFH! Just because it's torture to wait until the summer for Silver shadows... A review would mean the world to me. Anyhow, have a wonderful day!


Ever since she disappeared, everyone has been on their tiptoes around me. They avoid saying her name, awkwardly stopping in midsentence because they were about to tell a story involving her. They then shoot me a worried look and I, trying to stay positive, hand them a rigid smile back. It's even harder this way really; it's like they have accepted she's no longer with us. Even though my confidence about this whole thing is pretty low at the moment, I will never ever give up hoping that I'll find her. That everything will be back to normal someday.

I've tried to find her several times, but I can't reach her. Either the alchemists have drugged her or I'm losing not only my mind, but also my ability. Whichever of the both is right, I'm useless.

You'd think she'd have to sleep sometime - apparently not. Whenever I try to find her it's like running face first into a solid black wall. I don't even know what continent she's on, those bastards could've taken her to Ukraine for all I know.

What's a guy like me supposed to do, when his life suddenly disappears? Probably not what I'm doing. The smell of smoke and cloves in my apartment is so bad that the few who have the guts to visit me starts coughing as soon as they cross the threshold. As alcohol distances me from spirit, this is really the last and only escape. And God, I need an escape.

I took a deep breath from my bad habit, and blew out a thin beam of smoke, pretending I was the callistana a few feet away. I'm really happy Hopper was turned into a statue before it all happened – seeing his little, longing eyes would probably be the thing breaking me. He reminded me enough of Sydney as it was.

I fell asleep on the couch with a giant smoke cloud hovering over me. As I woke coughing, I could see the morning sun peek through the blinds. It almost looked surreal through the mist-like smoke.

Another knock on the door echoed through the room, and I left my half-dreaming state, remembering what had woken me. I groggily rubbed my eyes as I slid towards the door.

I paused for a while, with my hand on the door handle. I was pretty sure I looked pretty insane, with messy hair and clothes that obviously had been slept in, and I didn't want to scare my friends into thinking it was worse than it really was. But as I heard a third knock, followed by an "Adrian, open up!", I decided to take the risk. I put on a stiff smile, preparing to greet whoever had come.

The smile fell as soon as I opened the door and revealed my visitor.

"Marcus" I said in a emotionless voice, considering whether I should throw the door shut in his face and go back to sleep.

"Hey Adrian, long time no see!" he said, walking past me and making himself at home on the couch, as though he didn't have a care in the world. Maybe he just was this way, or he hadn't heard.

The dizzy sunbeams lit up his face, and even the gentle lighting brought out the few golden glints that hid underneath his indigo tattoo. _No, don't think what I think you're going to think. Get Marcus out of your apartment first._

"What may have earned me this pleasure?" I asked in a cold voice, much like the one alchemists tended to use against me. I felt pretty proud.

"I just wanted to drop by to meet you and Sydney. That's what friends do, right?" He flashed me a big grin. I think he noticed he was getting on my nerves, and that bastard _enjoyed_ it. It pissed me off.

"Well, no luck here then. Why don't you check with your alchemist rats? You could throw her a party at the re-education center."

His expression went blank and for a second or two he barely breathed. The first thing that escaped him were simply "oh, hell".

I know he had warned her a while back, that something like this could happen if she didn't get re-inked. But she had promised us she wouldn't get caught, and we had both believed her. Maybe if I had just- _no, shut up. It won't help her._

"How?" Marcus asked me silently, as he tiredly rubbed his face with his hands.

"Her sister found my phone" I said, trying to keep my voice calm and steady, even though it was really hard. "We had purchased special phones, so that no one would notice it. But Zoe, that's her sister by the way, ratted her out to her dad. They texted her, pretending to be me."

Eddie had told me the most of it by now, and the rest was easy to figure out. If I just hadn't been so goddamn stu- _no, deep breaths, you'll find her._

Marcus just nodded again, too much going on in his head to respond. I understood that, it was too much for my brain to handle as well. I think I was in need of another escape.

I offered the pack to Marcus, and he hastily took one. I could tell he had been waiting for me to ask. Smoking is a great way to hide the fact that your hands are shaking.

"So what do we do now?" the question just awkwardly hung in the air for a while, I wasn't quite sure how to answer it.

"_We?_" I asked a minute later, blowing out a smoke cloud that helped to make the room foggier.

"Yeah, _we_" he said, sounding slightly offended. "after everything she did to help me out, it's the least I can do. Besides, don't act like you don't need my help."

It was true. I could use a helping hand, especially one who knew the alchemists inside and out. I wasn't quite sure whether I trusted him yet, but hey, anyone who wasn't with the alchemists was my best friend at the moment. And an ex-alchemist was my best chance of finding her.

"_Touché_" I said calmly, having heard Sydney say that once. To be honest, I wasn't sure what it meant. I just assumed it was something smart. "Do you have any idea what's happening to her?"

"Well, I have a pretty good idea of what they're _doing_," he answered, clearing his throat. "I just don't know _where_"

I raised my eyebrows, expecting him to continue.

"Trust me, man. You don't want to know what they're doing in there. They're sick."

I felt sick. Sick to my stomach. But I wasn't quite sure whether that was because my body hadn't had anything but cigarette smoke and coffee for the past few days, or the way Marcus was trying to keep it away from me. Here it was all over again. Avoid telling me things, because what? I would break down? Not me, I was free. She on the other ha- _concentrate._

I gave him a hard stare. "I must insist; tell me"

I could feel the spirit's darkness building up within me, and I knew that I looked completely insane, but he barely seemed to react. I checked his aura, hoping to find something there. A few glimpses of anxious brown lie beneath his stark red and purple aura.

Although, I had to give it to him – he had a great poker face.

"No" he said, he took a last breath from his cigarette, and then put it out on the plate I had used as an ashtray for the past few days.

I wanted to strangle the guy, I really did. The only thing holding me back was the fact that he was my only connection to Sydney, without him I had nothing. The frustration grew within me. I could almost feel it dig its' claws into my head and I knew I had to get out of there. The spirit's darkness wouldn't help me in any way, but I knew it wouldn't settle until I got out of that place, reminding me so much about Sydney that I couldn't even concentrate.

"Adrian, wait-" I heard his desperate voice get stuck between the wall and the door as I slammed it shut behind me. With my coat in one hand and my car keys in the other, I nearly ran away from the campus.

As I got to my car, seeing the yellow lacquer burning in the sunlight, I realized that it wasn't a calming place to go. Hell, this car could just as well be her diary. I nearly threw the keys away, throwing stuff around usually helped me calmed down a bit, but I got a hand of myself and tucked them down the pocket of my jeans. Then, I started walking.

I'm not sure if I was heading somewhere, if I had some kind of goal with it other than getting my mind off things. I only know I walked for a long time. Looking at the ground the whole time, kicking stones and empty soda cans on my way. I didn't look up until I finally didn't feel the urge to walk anymore.

Somehow, I had ended up at Amberwood. Or well, technically the back yard. The place was pretty nice; there were some shrubs and a small pond, and the ground was covered in thick, green grass. Ignoring the fact that I'd damn myself later, I sat down in the grass.

I had a pretty good idea what window Sydney had.

_Not that one. It's a little more to the left.. Not that.. Too messy.. That one can't- Oh there it was._

It was somewhere in the middle of the building, all though a bit more to the right. Two things gave it away as Sydneys window;

Clue number one; _the curtains hung in a really neat way…_

I'm just kidding, the thing giving the window away was the face of Jill, happily looking out said window. She must've sensed I was coming.

It took her about a minute or so to run down the stairs and get out to me. I gave her a big hug and said, "Jailbait! Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Hmm, I can't" she said, tiredly. Not until then I noticed her messy hair and the dark circles under her eyes.

"Jesus, what happened to you?"

"Nothing really" she answered, giving me a shrug. "Just that as _someone_ quadrupled their daily caffeine intake, I have had some trouble to sleep,"

This wasn't like her; she usually was all sunshine and lollipops around me nowadays, I guess to try and make me forget. I guess the lack of sleep was getting to her. Guilt rolled over me like tsunamis.

A few horrifying minutes passed by, and I think Jill was too tired to notice at first, then she saw my facial expression.

"Don't worry about it, Adrian, I know why you do it" she mumbled, giving me a pat on the hand. "I just told Ms Weathers that I was sick to get out of class, although, I kind of am sick"

She giggled tiredly, and then yawned once more. When she got too tired to sit up right, she laid down on her back in the grass, closing her eyes.

I felt pretty tired too to be honest, tired and calm. Jill had that effect on me. Not the tired part, the calm part. She was probably the wisest fifteen-year-old I had ever met, and I was really glad we were as close as we were.

Before I knew it, she was snoozing in the grass beside me. I considered whether I should let her stay in the grass, or risk waking her up but take her back to her room. I figured she'd get sick for real if she stayed in the cold grass for much longer, so I gathered her up and carried her back to her dorm.

As it was still day, no one stopped me as I went up the stairs leading to the girls' dorm.

When Sydney left, we were assigned a new alchemist, in replacement for her and Zoe. We all figured that we couldn't push the relatives-card much further, so the new alchemist, who by the way was 40-something and deadboring, lived in a little house not all that far from Clarence's. That meant that Sydney and Angeline now had two rooms in the dorm, and that's how Jill overtook Sydney's room. I'm not sure if it was her longing for Sydney getting her to make her decision, or if it was the simple fact that she wanted her own room. I hoped for the first one, because I really hoped there was someone else in the universe who didn't act as though she had never existed.

In her excitement, Jill had failed to close the door properly. This was good news for me; I would have been locked out if she hadn't.

I managed to get the door up, whilst still carrying Jill. I would have applauded myself, unless that meant I would drop Jill. That would be a gentle way of waking her up.

Against my assumptions that it wouldn't be possible, I put her down on the made bed without waking her. And for a while, I stayed in there. I sat on Sydney's bed, staring out into space, daydreaming. The reason I knew it was hers wasn't that any of her stuff where there – the alchemists had cleaned the room out as soon as they caught her. But the sheets smelled just like her. That sounds creepy, I know that, but at the same time it cheered me up. This was the closest I'd been to her in weeks, and it calmed me. I would find her, and I knew the only way to do so.

I took some more time to calm down in there, sitting at the desk the room mates were supposed to share ( but now only Jill used it ), and drew Jill a small comic for when she woke up, telling her where I had gone. Then I left for my own apartment.

The walk took ages, and I was amazed that I hadn't turned back sooner on the way to Amberwood. It took me a good forty minutes to get back to my apartment.

Opening the door, I was expecting to find it empty. Surely Marcus had left by now? The sun had started setting, and the room had grown quite dark. I flicked the light switch, and almost jumped.

Marcus awkwardly started turning on the couch, and looked me dead in the eye.

"I've been expecting you"

And then he started laughing like crazy, hell, I even smiled for a bit, and that wasn't because of the joke. It felt quite… Normal, somehow. Not all that hopeless. And I liked it.

After a while, he calmed down and we sat quiet. It wasn't awkward silence, but more like I-don't-have-any-news-at-the-moment-silence. It took a while for me to break the ice.

"Were you serious about helping me out here?" I asked, praying to whoever's holy that he would. I couldn't do this by myself, I knew that now.

At first he didn't respond, he just smiled.

"Anything for my little partner in crime" he said, causing me to smile alongside him.


End file.
